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Warriors and Community
This past weekend my wife and I attended the “Total Warrior: Tactical Training and Mindset Camp” where I presented my talk titled, “Striding Through Chaos.” The participants were mainly law enforcement officers. Proceeds from the event went to the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund.
This Who’s Who from the tactical and peak performance world included people like Scott Sonnon, former Navy Seal Stephen Nave, and Lt. Col. Dave Grossman. It was organized by Marc Joseph of Spartan Training Gear and Jose Medina and the people from Task Force 360. My workshop addressed issues of stress management, values, limiting beliefs, goal-setting, NLP, and the “Inner Game.” The organizers were savvy and sensitive enough to take on issues that much of corporate America won’t even touch.
Even though we have just entered March, I have a feeling that this event is going to be one of the highlights of my year. It had the kind of creative commitment that often leads to great things. It was interesting to see how quickly cause and character created community among relative strangers.
There was a generosity of spirit and of sharing that was matched by a remarkable lack of ego.
The attendees I talked to were there because they not only wanted to be better at law enforcement but they also wanted to be better mothers, fathers, and spouses. Abundance, courage, and energy were the feelings that characterized the weekend for me.
I have run into a lot of people who espouse (but don’t live)high-minded ideals and throw some money at causes to assuage their conscience. They don’t really do stuff. I now try to only associate with people who do stuff – the right stuff. The organizers, presenters, and participants at Total Warrior are the kind of people I want to do stuff with.
Government must play a role in maintaining the rights of all its citizens. But individuals, especially those who would call themselves “leader,” must take responsibility in their families and communities to ensure that the values that connect each of us are leavened by love so that they don’t need to be levied by the State. The people I met this past weekend seem to get this.
If you want to get a better idea of what I’m talking about, make sure you join us at Total Warrior 2013!
Do You Train Like A Woman?
I may be treading on dangerous ground here with some of my tough guy friends. This post might also mean I’ll get my AARP card before my “Man Card” gets renewed but…
I’ve spent a lot of years training – including the glory days of bodybuilding in the 70′s and 80′s. I know my way around sweat, grunts, screams and “arm day.” The squat, deadlift, and bench press are the staples of any man’s program who is trying to increase his strength – and they have been key components during many of my training years. They are also lifts that most women are discouraged from attempting.
So if I want to train like a woman, does this mean I have to give up the big lifts and the sweat dripping onto my face from my training partner’s gym shorts as he screams “One more rep! It’s all you!!!” Not exactly…
At Brownstone Fitness, 95% of our clients are women.Several of them are working with the deadlift, pullups, kettlebell cleans, and other challenging exercises. Many of these women bring as much intensity and purpose to their workouts as any guy I have trained with. Many of the methods are the same – it’s the mind that’s different. This doesn’t happen all at once. Some clients come in with the same hedonistic and vain intentions of any guy who wants to only work the “show” muscles. For those women, that means an obsessive focus on THE CORE! While almost all of us who train want to look good, those who evolve in their training, begin to appreciate other qualities. This growth, in my experience, is more common in women than in men. What are these other qualities and how have I applied them to train more like a woman?
- I pay more attention to the process than I do to the outcome. I now compete to be the best me and not an idealized action figure. I rely on my intuition more than the latest muscle magazine to guide my training week to week and month to month. Too many guys don’t know how to even spell “intuition.” They get it confused with “domination.”
- I now look at my training with “beginner’s mind.” This allows me to ask questions that go deeper than “how can I get my arms bigger?” I have developed not only more clarity around my goals but more honesty as well. I can’t do all the things that I used to do but the good news is that I don’t have to or want to.
- I pay more attention to how my physical body impacts my emotional landscape - sentio ergo cogito.
Men who workout for a significant period of time often undergo the process of hedonic adaptation where even bigger is no longer better. Women who put in the time training, look at how the work they do at the gym impacts their roles as mothers, daughters, lovers, workers.
I get that I am only working with a limited sample size but these are my observations. Let me know if you think this is only my hallucination and if there are any other guys man enough to work this way.
P.S. – Speaking of women, check out our new bodyweight exercise video, The Sulaxmi Method. A portion of the proceeds will go to support the girls school we co-founded in Lucknow, India. Under the leadership of Shashi Mehta, the school will be celebrating 10 years of providing education to underserved girls in Lucknow.
Want To Join Us?
We are blessed to live in such interesting times. As we approach 2012, I don’t think I’m alone in my concern about the best courses of action to take to deal with our economic and moral challenges. My wife and I have stepped outside the Matrix with our partner and friend, Yaromil, to create a fitness business that is our response to the growing obesity epidemic and an increased lack of engagement and awareness among most segments of society.
In our fitness studio, we often find that putting together an exercise program is incidental to more pressing needs – and we’re finding ways of addressing those.
Our New Adventure
Despite the fear that comes with starting any business on a shoestring in a depressed economy, with little savings, and a lot of responsibilities (like children’s tuition, mortage, rebuilding retirement savings, etc.), the three of us are experiencing tremendous feeings of freedom, joy, and power. For me, part of the freedom comes with my ability to engage with people at a more honest level.
When I was experiencing my 20 minutes of fame as an educator and nonprofit leader, much of my nonprofit schtick involved kissing butt for dollars. I did it because I believed in the mission and the people I was serving and I was good at it. Still, I never felt that this was the highest and best use of my talents. Getting blacklisted by the powerful people I got “uppity” with has allowed me to recapture my integrity. Although my oldest daughter has expressed her contempt for an Ivy League-educated father who has become a life coach and “the world’s oldest personal trainer,” I pray that she will soon discover the power of simplicity and integrity.
Red Pill/Blue Pill
Those in power refuse to value the development of economic productivity over the creation of financial products. We are blind to the education bubble that our children sit on as they incur debt at places like Swarthmore College (why is Swartmore the example? Call me and I’ll tell you) with no real preparation for this new economy. Many of these high-priced institutions of higher learning do nothing to improve the thinking of students faced with increased complexity.
I played in the law and education spaces and I saw how sausage gets made. Now I have an interesting vantage point to look at the health challenges this country is facing. Our inability to effectively address our health problems may prove to be the most damaging factor in the decline of our society.
Wolves, Sheep, Shepherds & Sheepdogs
With all that’s going on – and if you’re not one of the now famous 1% – you can either prepare for the zombie apocalypse or find a new way of being. I have chosen to do both. Part of this way of being and preparing is finding a group of like-minded individuals. This is not easy because while the wolves and the sheep are many, the shepherds and the sheepdogs are few.
We could not have developed to our current level of “civilization” without a certain level of empathy, selflessnesss, cooperation, and sharing. These qualities have been replaced in many parts of our society by fear and greed. Community creation is a lost skill. We have given our power over to experts of all sorts who are leading a lemming-like rush to the brink. Those with enough money are able to buy some form of community but that leaves most of us outside the gate.
As I watched these developments and after taking account of the false friendships and the transactional camaraderie that had been part of my professional experience, I took a break from everyone except for my immediate family and a few close friends. This has been good and healing but I am now ready for my new way of being.
The Resurrection of Community
I want to take part in a discussion of what it really means to be a leader. I continue to turn my back on the cynics who are only certain of the things they don’t know – I reject that easy way out. I want to find fellow shepherds and sheepdogs so that I can pull my Quixotean lance from storage. I want to be part of a small group that will work for transformation as it seeks out problems that can be turned into possibilities. I think one of the things we will see in the next decade is an increased popularity of “intentional communities” – everything from ecovillages to ashrams to communes to survivalist retreats. Voluntary simplicity, self sufficiency, interpersonal growth, and skill development will all be part of the mix for the best of these communities. Maybe I’ll start my own version of this kind of thing but until then, baby steps.
Total Warrior
To this end, I will be participating and presenting at the Total Warrior Skills and Mindset camp organized by Marc Joseph of Spartan Training Gear. It is taking place on February 24-26. All proceeds from the event will go to the National Law Enforcement Officers Fund. The weekend is for trainers, educators, law enforcement officers, and anyone who wants to do more than worry about the wolves. It will be about developing serenity, power, awareness, fitness, and reality-based self defense skills, There are a bunch of presenters who I am really excited about meeting. Send Marc an email at marc@thespartanarmy.com for more specifics.
Marc Joseph is a fellow entrepreneur and kindred spirit. This is his effort to begin a conversation among people who are capable of fighting ennui as well as zombies. This is my effort to begin the creation of a community I want to be a part of.
How are you preparing?
“If it is good to say or do something, then it is even better to be criticized for having said or done it.” – Marcus Aurelius
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Train Naked – Do You Like What You See?
This post was inspired by a discussion I had with a couple of colleagues about workout attire and what it communicates. If you thought there would be more “interesting” pictures of the staff of Brownstone Fitness, you’ll have to join the contest on our membership site to see those!
There are a few ways to train naked
I’m not going to discuss the most obvious method of training this way and for safety reasons, I’m not advocating it.
Do What You Can With What You’ve Got
This kind of training has to do with simplicity and a minimalist ethic. Pavel Tsatsouline has popularized it in his Naked Warrior book. The concept is that you should be able to get stronger using nothing more than your own body.
It’s interesting how addicted some people have become to exercise machines. This affliction seems to run deeper in men. It is one of the reasons we only have a couple of guys training in our “machine-less” facility. You can fake and cheat on machines. Working with your body tells you the truth. My theory is that a lot of men can’t handle this kind of truth.
True naked training involves mainly bodyweight and things you can pull up to and jump on. It has many benefits. It saves time and money. You’re less likely to get injured. You don’t have an excuse for getting out of shape when you travel. It has a lot of meditative qualities. You’ll move with more grace. You’ll become more creative and improvisational.
You’re Exposed
Then, there’s a third meaning. Hard training can tell you a lot about yourself. We often don’t like what we find when we push the limits and do the hard thing. Exposing ourselves to ourselves is very uncomfortable and most of us avoid it. For most guys, a hard workout is a couple of extra sets of (light) bench presses and curls. For women, it’s doing an extra half hour on the elliptical machine. Where are the pull-ups, the sprinting, the deadlifts, the handstands and cartwheels?
When you actually work to reach real fitness goals, you will find out about your courage and mental toughness. You will learn about your self-discipline. You will be able to examine and display your values. Make a public commitment to do the hard thing with your diet and exercise and people will discover whether you are capable of doing what you say you will do – Oh no! That integrity thing!
Our desk-bound lives don’t provide us with a lot of opportunities for introspection and challenge. We allow ourselves to be forced into autopilot. This has inevitable consequences for all our relationships.
Figure out a way to train naked. Stand out. Do it often enough and you’ll end up liking the reflection.
P.S. At Brownstone Fitness, we don’t always train naked. We also include kettlebells, barbells, clubbells, ropes, and accountability. Give us a call to find out what this looks like in a firm but caring environment.
