Written by Happiness is always available to you.
Mind, Consciousness, Thought
Inspired by Sydney Banks and Michael Neill
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Posts in category inspiration
Pain – Can You Still Play?
playing with pain
Apparently, there’s a phenomenon where, after heart surgery, men become more emotional. Well, I haven’t had heart surgery but I find that I spend more time reflecting on human pain and my role in alleviating it.
My children have asked me if I’ve ever gotten into a fight. My youngest daughter asked if anyone has ever given me “booboos,”while my youngest son asked if I’ve ever gotten my “ass kicked.” The smile that accompanies his question makes me wonder if this is part of the sizing up that is naturally done in the animal kingdom. My answer is that, yes, people have given me booboos AND kicked my ass.
I can name some of the perpetrators – Joseph D’Angelo, Shiro Oishi, and Col. Al Ridenhour (my guides in the Martial Way). Life has also gotten some swings in.
The good news is that I have been able to mostly avoid the effects of random violence by either running fast or striking first.
I recently did a quick “booboo” inventory of my body. There’s the nose that’s been broken three times; the ribs that were fractured and had the cartilage between them torn; the scar along my knee where the quadriceps tendon that had ripped from my kneecap was sewn back after holes were drilled in the bone; the bone spur to go along with the arthritis in the same ankle; the two fingers that had to be reconstructed after being shattered into several pieces; and both elbows that don’t completely straighten because all the cartilage is gone and instead of a cushion between the bones of my upper and lower arm, the two bones have ground down into an offset position.
Does it hurt? Yes. It sometimes feels like ice picks are being driven into my joints. But I stand with my pal, T.E. Lawrence (“Lawrence of Arabia”).
In the eponymous movie, Lawrence (as played by Peter O’Toole) holds his hand over a flame until his skin begins to burn. His colleague, William Potter asks: “Doesn’t it hurt?” Lawrence responds: “Of course it hurts, Potter. The trick is not minding that it hurts.”
Pain is temporary. Unless we try to deny the truth of what is. Then it will increase.
I catch myself making a deal with God that I will honor the pain if I can avoid the stroke that paralyzed my father or the Parkinson’s that weakened my mother. I stop this when I notice it (see above about denying the truth).
There is a symphony of human movement that is available to all of us. The instruments may be old and missing a string or a key. Practice can’t be missed. The challenge is to play the music that’s inside us to the best of our ability. It brings honor to us and to our Creator.
Are you in physical or emotional pain? Email me. I’ll write you back. We’ll talk. It’ll help.
Hans
photo by: VinothChandar
Happiness with Flow
Brownstone Fitness coaching
Finding Happiness Through Flow
How often are you in flow? Flow occurs when you’re engaged in an activity that’s challenging but not outside your skill set. It’s something so deeply interesting that you lose all sense of time and place and you have the feeling that, wherever this is, it’s exactly the place you are supposed to be.
Flow can occur on a job, in an athletic activity, through the creation of art, or in relationship with someone. In this state, your focus gives you access to your essential self. You tap into the source of natural pleasure that is our birthright. As me move into adulthood, this source gets polluted, blocked, covered up, diverted.
Losing It and Finding It Again
I enjoy (and miss) working with young people. Even the teenagers I worked with who had been beaten down, still retained a sense of the possible. For some it was rare, but almost all of them had times when they were able to access that internal flame of simple joy.
As we become adults, we’ve been clothed in “shoulds” and drugged by “must haves.” These paths take us away from the essential.
Bernadette and I think the work at Brownstone is important. There are many nights when we share our frustrations over the (small) group of individuals who pass through here thinking that what we provide is just another commodity. While I sit here writing this, Bernadette is putting in another three hours of study in physiology. She’ll then work on some relaxation visualizations. When I finish, I’ll do some reading on motivation, relieving shoulder impingement, and thinking about exercise circuits. No fast food burgers being served here.
Struggle
Running a small business like this is a struggle on many levels. We are asking people to spend a decent amount money on a regular basis to do something that is hard and that most people don’t want to do. We’re proud of you for engaging in the struggle nonetheless
In the world’s oldest wisdom book, the Bhagavad Gita Gita, Lord Krishna tells Arjuna that “you are only entitled to your labors but not to the fruits of your labors.”
Our labor is not dedicated to toned arms and six-pack abs, but to freeing up your child inside, helping you to feel joy, and, when you let us, reminding you that you’re only one thought away from happiness.
You won’t find that in a 24-Hour Fitness brochure.
The Shocking Truth About Health And Fitness
What do most of us miss on the path to health and fitness?
Healthy relationships, doing work you love, expressing yourself fully, avoiding exposure to environmental toxins, having a spiritual connection – these things are at least as important as your annual physical, how many miles you’ve run, or whether you’re buying organic.
This M.D. talks about how she discovered this for herself.
If you want help with the “work you love,” spiritual connection,” and relationship parts, you might want to sign up for this.
A Big Enough “Why” – The Definition Of Motivation
A warning: look away and don’t read this if you are sensitive and squeamish.
The Captain Shows Up
The Army captain was about 6 ft. tall and built like G.I. Joe – the modern one. It was clear that he had sent this uniform to a tailor outside the gates of Ft. Bragg. We had heard that you could get your uniform shirts and pants tapered to accentuate your physique. Several of us officer candidates were counting down the days until we could become junior versions of this guy.
The uniform, his size, and the crazy war cry that preceded his entrance, had us intimidated. But as ROTC cadets, this was also the image we were shooting for one day. He introduced the block of instruction as a lecture on SERE – “Survival, Escape, Resistance, Evasion.” He then summoned a sergeant forward from behind the bleachers where we were seated. The sergeant was holding a chicken. The incongruity would have been amusing if it wasn’t for the intensity with which the captain was staring at the chicken.
The Chicken Loses
There’s a scene from the movie, “Rocky,” where the hero had to chase a chicken around the yard to improve his footwork. This time, there wasn’t even a contest. The captain grabbed the chicken, bared his teeth and…
…bit the chicken’s head off.
It wasn’t a smooth process but there was never a doubt as to the outcome. He spat out the chicken’s head to one side and tossed the body in the other direction. Coming from New York City I wasn’t prepared to see the headless chicken run around for several more seconds before it collapsed. He said he was prepared to pull the feathers off and eat the chicken raw if he needed the energy to keep going.
You know how some speakers lead off with a joke or an impactful PowerPoint slide? This guy had his own way of warming up an audience. There was no competition for our attention.
The chicken beheading was a prelude to a story about his brief time as a wounded captive of the Viet Cong. This was 1979 and the Vietnam War was still fairly fresh in our memories. As soon-to-be Army officers, we were preparing for the Soviet menace but there were still lessons we could learn from the last war.
The captain let us know that he had regarded his prisoner status as a tremendous inconvenience and that he had no intention of letting it last for long. He planned to escape as soon as he was captured. His plans for escape were not going to be fueled by any military code of conduct. He asked us to guess his motivation for a quick escape. No one wanted to give the wrong answer, so no one raised a hand.
Motivation – The Big Enough “Why”
He didn’t wait long before lowering his voice and using a tone that made all of us feel foolish for not guessing the right answer – “I had my woman to get home to.” It was amazing how he was able to make this a head-smacking moment of obviousness. This was also the cue for the sergeant to reappear for an unneeded point of emphasis. This time, the victim was a snake. In a matter of seconds, it ended up in two pieces at his feet. Was it a poisonous snake? Does it really matter? He made the same point about eating the snake that he had made about the chicken. You do what you have to do. Anyway, doesn’t snake taste like chicken?
The captain had a big enough “Why.” When faced with a decision, most people go through a process where they Analyze-Think-Change. The captain went through a process that was See-Feel-Change. The pictures he created of his goal drove his emotion. His emotion created the conditions for his survival. Too much analysis and reflection would have meant his death or recapture.
You can listen to the experts, read the books, and gather all the information that’s out there. Will you take action? Create the right pictures and you’ll get the powerful feelings that will lead you to the change you seek.
P.S. With a big enough “Why” the “How” will appear.
P.P.S. Join our community by signing up on the form above.
When Life Design Begins With A Purple Dinner Jacket
“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”
― Aristotle
Life Design
I think the year was 1971. I had convinced myself that I looked really good. Besides, how many 12-year-olds get to head to school wearing a purple suede (NOT velour) jacket with leather lapels, a pink ruffled tuxedo shirt, and purple double-knit, flared pants.(are you old enough to remember those?).
Yeah, I know – you’ve heard rumors that my sense of style hasn’t evolved much in those forty+ years. But that’s not the point. This marked a critical stage in my education on “life design.” These were clothes that had been donated to the residential drug rehab center that my father founded and ran (Exodus House). These weren’t your average clothes from your average donor. Warner Leroy inspired my dive into deep fashion.
Who was Warner Leroy? He was the son of producer-director Mervyn Leroy and the grandson of one of the Warner Bros. – yes, those Warner Bros. Warner Leroy went on to run Great Adventure, Maxwell’s Plum (THE singles spot in New York at the time),and The Russian Tea Room. He was philanthropic and flamboyant.
Not only was I hoping that some of his moneymaking magic would rub off on me through these clothes but I just knew that I would be a envied by my peers for my version of the Blaxploitation style that the movies were making famous in the ’70′s
How Come No One Told Me?
Some more realistic thoughts should have been competing with my fantasy: Why didn’t I think I would be laughed out of the building by the wealthy and privileged kids who attended the elite private school where I was on scholarship? How come Shaft never wore pink? Why didn’t the recovering drug addicts in my father’s program grab these items? How come my parents didn’t intervene to prevent me from possible ridicule and a potential beating in the street?
I still don’t have answers for those questions. I got a lot of strange looks that day and some very insensitive comments. Fortunately, I was not threatened with violence. On balance, I’m glad my parents didn’t stop me.
I retired the outfit after that day.
Lessons Learned
Some lessons that have stayed with me:
- Clothes don’t make the man.
- Don’t worry too much about being in fashion.
- A little humility provides balance.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously.
- You can train for dignity.
- You can work with criticism or ignore it – never fear it.
- Learn how to take responsibility for your choices.
- Concern yourself only with the opinions of those who care about you (and even then, be careful how much weight you give them).
- You can recover from almost anything.
- You need to put yourself out there now and then.
- With enough confidence, you can pull off anything.
- Young people will always push the bounds of “normal” fashion
- I don’t think I will be as “courageous” as my parents if my kids try to pull off something like that
Finally, don’t be afraid to show up as you are. You’ll get to see who really loves you.
P.S. Do you have a purple suede jacket in your past? Please share it here.
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