Two weeks ago, Bernadette and I held another free self-defense workshop. This time, it was for a group of girls from the East Harlem dance program, “Groove With Me.” It was pretty cool because several months ago we had worked with the mothers of these girls.
Like the moms, these girls hit really hard. It took a while to get them to the point where they would hit me with aggression. There were also a few tears (theirs not mine) to get them to that point.
Some of the girls needed to give themselves permission to fight back. In the short time we had with them, they needed to be convinced that they were valuable enough to deserve self-protection. This wasn’t about protection from a police officer or boyfriend but self-protection.
Perfectly Good Animals
They didn’t know of the anthropologist Margaret Mead and her quote that “(W)omen should not be allowed in (military) combat because they are too fierce.”
Their limiting beliefs had kept a couple of biological and evolutionary truths hidden from them: they are perfectly good animals capable of amazing physical and mental feats of survival and creativity.
Too many women and men have stopped the natural dance between their masculine and feminine sides. It’s not your fault. Women are told how they’re supposed to look and men are told how much they’re supposed to earn. his is how value is decided. Both get separated from the truth of the joy they were born with and live out other people’s assumptions and fantasies. Our true gifts with inside of us before adolescence.
Too many of us have become numb to our essential selves and we try to destroy our shadow sides. The numbing shows up as overeating, overworking, and obsession with pursuing the goals that other people have set out for us. The fight moves us away from the pipeline of our natural Wisdom.
We are all born with innate mental health. We don’t have to seek it or find a guru to provide it. All you really need to do with your body and your mind is to press “RESET.” To paraphrase Rumi, “Stop weaving and watch the pattern improve.”
Let’s try something. For the next three days, in a spreadsheet or in a list, note your limiting beliefs – the things that you think you can’t do. Then run each of them through this filter developed by Byron Katie:
“Is it true?”
“Can you absolutely know that it’s true?”
“How do you react/feel when you think that thought?”
“Who would you be without that thought?”
If they don’t have permission to touch your mind or body then keep them out. Hurt them if you have to.
If they do have permission to touch you, there’s nothing wrong with telling them how you want to be touched.
Feeling good all the time is tough to do. Feeling better is only one thought away.
Send me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org) and let me know if anything shifted or if you want to go deeper into the process. You can also go here to find out about the book I’m writing on these issues.
I hope this wasn’t too abstract. Just know that the other option was a comparison of the luteal and follicular stages of the menstrual cycle to the way we do business at Brownstone Fitness.
“Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.” – Syd Banks